A small update

Things are going a bit better but it's always different from one moment to the next. I'm getting to the point where I'm almost willing to die for my freedom. I'm so sick of having to rely on everyone else for everything that I do. I've actually gone a few times to the store by myself. I get this "F-it" attitude where I'm willing to accept all the catastrophic thoughts that go through my mind in order to do something alone. I'm starting to realize that I feel just as stressed when I'm out whether I'm alone or with someone. The only benefit to having someone with me is the comfort of knowing that someone is there "just in case something happens". Other then that, the stress level and difficulty are almost the same. That's been quite the realization. Now I need to get over that comfort of another person and just go myself. Whatever happens, happens. I can't keep living in a box... waiting. I'm suffocating and dying inside. I need my life back!!!!!