My Life With Agoraphobia: 2010

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

What a day!!

I am totally drained. I have no idea where I'll find the strength to make it through the rest of the night...

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Things are going a bit better but it's always different from one moment to the next. I'm getting to the point where I'm almost willing to die for my freedom. I'm so sick of having to rely on everyone else for everything that I do. I've actually gone a few times to the store by myself. I get this "F-it" attitude where I'm willing to accept all the catastrophic thoughts that go through my mind in order to do something alone. I'm starting to realize that I feel just as stressed when I'm out whether I'm alone or with someone. The only benefit to having someone with me is the comfort of knowing that someone is there "just in case something happens". Other then that, the stress level and difficulty are almost the same. That's been quite the realization. Now I need to get over that comfort of another person and just go myself. Whatever happens, happens. I can't keep living in a box... waiting. I'm suffocating and dying inside. I need my life back!!!!!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

UUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just want to scream, cry, be angry or pull my hair out!! The last couple days have been hell. I fell like I'm gonna break at any moment! One more push and I'm going OVER!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

So much going on

I've realized that I have a hard time expressing myself... imagine that:) I've been having some family problems (with my mom) and I find that it's easier not to post here then talk about it. Since I don't want to talk about what's going on with that situation, I just avoid posting all together. I've really got to work on that. I find that posting here on my blog is very therapeutic and I need to get back into the swing of things. Baby steps...

Things have been fairly good. I'm still learning a lot about myself and healing my wounds. My anxiety has been ok. I have bad days but for the most part I think I'm on an upswing. I actually went to Walgreens by MYSELF last night!!!!! I still can't believe that was me. It feels like a dream. I was so exhausted from some things that happened earlier in the day that I had the F-it attitude and felt like there was nothing that could bring me more anxiety then I'd already dealt with so why not just do it. I even drove the main road! I know... can you believe it?! It wasn't even that bad. I didn't freak out at all. I even walked around the store and just browsed around for a few. You just have no idea what a big deal that is for me. I haven't driven anywhere since the last time I posted about it here and even that time I didn't actually go IN to the store. Woo Hoo!!

Agoraphobia Definition

Agoraphobia is a type of anxiety disorder. The term “agoraphobia” comes from the Greek words agora (αγορά), meaning “marketplace,” and phobia (φόβος), meaning “fear.” Literally translated as “fear of the marketplace," people with agoraphobia are afraid of open or public spaces.

In reality, most people with agoraphobia are not so much afraid of open and public places as they are afraid of having a panic attack in these settings, especially settings in which there may be no one to help in the case of a panic attack or actual emergency.

Most people with agoraphobia are afraid of any setting where they feel stuck and they may make a fool of themselves by having a panic attack in front of other people. Many people with agoraphobia are afraid to venture anywhere outside of their house.

In settings with people, most people with agoraphobia are afraid of what others will think if they show the outward signs of a panic attack. But people with agoraphobia are also afraid of settings without people, such as walking alone in nature or even being left at home alone. This is because people with agoraphobia are afraid of having a real medical emergency in the absence of others to help.

The symptoms of agoraphobia can make you feel like there is something wrong with your physical body, as if you are having a heart attack or you are choking and unable to breathe. Because of this, many people with agoraphobia develop a fear of having a medical emergency with no one around to rush them to the hospital.

This fear of being in open spaces with no one around is what sets agoraphobia apart from social anxiety disorder. People with social anxiety disorder are only afraid of situations that include other people. People with agoraphobia are afraid of being anywhere other than their safe place, in the presence or absence of other people.

My Life With Agoraphobia